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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Too Short For a Column: 2011 Remarks in Review

Here is a wrap-up of everything I wanted to post in 2011 but found I could only make one or two lines out of it. Some of it I already said elsewhere, but here is a complete collection of it. So, let's go. Cue the "In Review" music of your choice.

  • Sadly, Michael Steele saw his term as Republican Chairman expire in January. It was nice to have a Steele as the head of one party and a Vice President from the other party whose middle name was ROBinette. We need [Lee] wRIGHTS to save us.
    Mr. Steal... um Steele.
  • Some of you may know I frequently enter the Washington Post's Style Invitational humor contest. Well, here is my third place entry for Week 948: "Is it just me, or does anyone else find it hypocritical that Certain Media Outlets won’t cover third-party candidates who have zero chance of winning — but still continue to cover the Baltimore Orioles?" You know who you are.
  • I voted my mom for Town Councilman. That's right, I did. I told you I didn't like the guy who was running unopposed. I told you to write someone in if you felt the same. I did. Did you? Well, eight others did by the unofficial count.
  • Has anyone coined the phrase "Obama Drama" yet? If not, I called it first.
  • We all heard about the Fighting Sioux nickname controversy at the University of North Dakota. Someone compared it to "Fighing Irish". But that's like the difference between BYU changing their name to the "Stormin' Mormons" and Winthrop University doing the same. Self-reference is ok. Attacks on other groups are not. I doubt UND would be permitted to change its name to the Fighting Irish.
  • If I had a penny for every time I saw "Osama" displayed as "Obama" on my TV after bin Laden was killed, I could pay my next cable bill and start the count again.
  • Speaking of which, I have an interesting story about bin Laden's death. I was studying for a History Final I had on Tuesday morning. I got an alert on my laptop around 10:30 PM saying Obama would be giving a speech late that night, but I wanted to keep a normal sleep schedule leading up to finals, so I went to bed. I woke up the next morning and had about fifteen texts and ten emails saying bin Laden was killed. But here's where it gets good. At 10 AM Monday  morning, I went to the history exam review session to discuss the essay topics. One of them concerned a passage in our textbook where ... The author wrote about how America must kill bin Laden and eliminate Al-Qaeda or we will not be able to survive! Thankfully, we didn't have to update our already pre-planned essays to reflect bin Laden's death. But that's crazy.
  • And finally, I would like to dedicate this post to the idiots, Barack Obama and whoever deleted the last comma here.

Wishing everyone a great New Year! -GK

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