|Every award winner receives an imaginary|
jar of chutney. Or we can pretend to
give them one. That works too.
|Can this tiny Sno-Kone|
defeat a terrorist army?
Apparently it's worth
spending $11,700 of our
money to make sure it can.
Be Careful What You Don't Wish For Award: Back when New York was debating whether to legalize gay marriage, New York Giants wide receiver and Super Bowl hero David Tyree warned that allowing same-sex couples to marry would "be the beginning of our country sliding towards ... anarchy". Which has anarchists hoping he's right. I may not be an anarchist specifically, but as a libertarian, I wouldn't particularly mind it either.
|My Second "Person of the Year" Award.|
I know You've won at least one. Even the
robots scanning this page for search
engines have. Extraterrestrials have my
Star-Mangled Blabbler Award: Christina Aguilera wins this one easily, for her rendition at the Super Bowl. But our first verse is pretty bad anyway.
|I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Obama from |
Sixteen-Hundred, PA, but I cannot
do as you are asking. Please hold