This is the second year in a row I have done this. For the first time, see this facebook page (I don't believe it requires a facebook account, but it might. You don't need to add me as af friend though).
10. "Occupy Chocolate Walnut Street" - the 1% of the "big kids" who get all the trick-or-treat candy need to learn to share with the little kids.
9. Ron Paul - "The Constitution does not give the President the power to distribute candy to trick-or-treaters at the White House. Therefore, if elected president, I will not do so, as that can only be done by the states."
8. Social Security - Don't buy any candy to give to trick-or-treaters who come to your house. Instead, take candy from each trick-or treater who comes buy and invite them to come by later for more candy than they gave up. Proceed to give each returning trick-or-treater the candy you stole from the preceding trick-or-treaters. Eventually, you will run out of candy and an angry mob of trick-or-treaters will form outside your house and you will go down in flames.
7. A third party candidate: Hand out a delicious candy that is amazingly awesome but that nobody has heard of before. Nobody comes to your house.
6. Vice President Caingrich, under President Perry.
5. A Tea Party Protestor - Yell at little kids who come to your house asking for candy, since it's unjust taxation on the candy-rich.
4. Herman Cain: Yes, Mrs. Jones, I'd like a Kit-Kat, please... Here you go, Hermie sweetie. Next!... Wait, I misunderstood the question. I'd actually like Reese's Pieces.
3. USS Carl Vinson - take the candy you don't like, and dump it in the ocean.
2. Dick Cheney: Give chocolate to quails and shoot tricker-or-treaters because you "were confused about which was which". And quails can't eat chocolate, so double succes!
And now for...
1. THE SCARIEST COSTUME OF THEM ALL.... A three-headed monster consisting of Presidents Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, and Barack Obama.
Make the right choice in 2012. Gary Johnson, Ron Paul, Liberty, Success!